Fanfare

I was offline yesterday, either one of the kids on my baseball team gave me the flu or a micro black hole orbited close to my stomach and pulled a vacuum.

Anyway…

I guess many of you have heard there is supposed to be a big announcement about dark matter from the $2B dark matter project associated with the International Space Station.

“BOSTON — Big news in the search for dark matter may be coming in about two weeks, the leader of a space-based particle physics experiment said today (Feb. 17) here at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

The Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer has the potential to detect the positrons and electrons produced by dark matter annihilations in the Milky Way”

So I do not have their budget, but I do have a $0.99  Magnetometer app for my $400 iPhone called sensorscope that plots x,y,z magnetic and gravitational acceleration.

So I am driving home Monday stopped in traffic during a torrential downpour (you could barely see) caused from what I believe are strings/filaments of dark matter/energy orbiting overhead in Atlanta towards Pennsylvania and such, condensing water vapor and dumping it on my head.

I notice that the sound on my radio keeps blinking off and on so of course being the geek that I am I pull out my sensorscope magnetometer app on my iPhone to see if I can pick up any magnetic interference and this is what it displays.

(You can email the data from the iPhone app and dump it to Excel, pretty cool).  I was getting a fairly large  magnetic swing in the x,y & z directions.  I could not hear or see any lightning, but boy was it raining.  There was also a power outage that occurred approx. the same time in that area of Atlanta.  So on Earth we call these geomagnetic storms because this energy has to be coming from the Earth, right?  Out in space  in the future we will call these “dark energy” storms and do our best to stay away.  We give these phenomena special names on Earth because dark energy is only out there in the cosmos and us humans have our own special physics where a ball of metal and rock we call Earth can produce extreme magnetic storms, millions of volts of electricity at 50,000 degrees F we call lightning and condense billions of tons of water and dump it all on our heads we call hurricanes and blizzards routinely. I did not know rocks  and essentially inert Nitrogen atmospheric gasses could do that.

So this is my official announcement that dark energy has been discovered here on Earth and it unites the fields of physics, can help predict severe weather months in advance, possibly improve our health and maybe get us off this rock for good. But I am sure it will come with much less fanfare than others, because I am just a chemical engineer with a bad sense of humor.

Gosdspeed