Unified Field Theory?

General Relativity: Found 5% of the Universe, not bad, just look around. Hair looks like open strings attached to a brain at one end

String Theorist: Wants To stream even more microwave radiation through you and your child’s head. Many of these appear to be closed strings stuck to a brain

Unified Field Theory – Open and Closed Strings stuck to a brain making up 95% surrounded by the other 5%

Wrong Theory – Install more microwave towers and buy my crop circle microwave extension wand. Brain Dead